My Darlings!
Everyone in Sweden is talking about a certain Johan af Donner’s embezzlement of the Swedish Red Cross’s hard-earned millions. We Fluffbabes think that it’s a deplorable scandal. What a wimp, what a miser, what a rogue the man is! 

He should have the done the same as Little Blondie did some years ago when she didn’t get the pay-rise she thought she deserved. This is what happened: 

I had a brilliant job with one of Sweden’s leading publishers and when it was time for salary negotiations I expected a rise of at least 3 or 4,000 kroner a month. I knew I was worth it. 

Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I was offered – 342 kronor. And not a penny more!

I was angry, I was upset, I felt hurt and abused. My first impulse was of course to storm into the Managing Director’s office and give in my notice. But after some thought I realised that that would punishing myself instead of the company. My job was, you see, such fun. 

I needed a plan, in other words. 

What I finally decided to do was to work reduced hours – I thought about 80% would be fair.  A unilateral decision, of course. 

I simply took one day off a week, and went to Stockholm to do some shopping. 

Without telling anyone, of course. 

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who certainly thinks that periods of limitation are a good thing)

One day a letter came through my door, addressed to me and sent by the Territorial Army. The letter enclosed two things: 1 – a summons to me to report for duty (!) and 2 -one of those corpse identity tags to go round your neck. With my name on it. 

You’ll understand that I went weak at the knees and turned a deathly shade of pale. ME – in the T.A. ?

But I had to keep cool and come up with a plan. You don’t mess with the T.A. – even I knew that (although I’ve no idea if this is still the case today). I would have to play my cards really well if I wanted to get out of this in one piece. 

After a couple of days’ thought, it came to me. I sat down and wrote a letter to the T.A. along these lines: ”Dear Territorial Army! If only you knew how delighted I was to receive your letter dated bla bla bla. I feel that this is my life’s opportunity, and I so look forward to demonstrating my numerous skills concerning warfare on the home front. I feel that I should be first in line for a high-level, executive post within your organisation. I feel that it is only at executive level that my numerous skills will be utilised to the full, and I am convinced that the T.A. will soon understand my value for the Nation as such. Let me add that I am fully familiar with every weapon imaginable. Yours, with the deepest respect, bla bla bla”.

As I mentioned earlier it’s years since I sent my letter, and I never received a call-up letter in reply. I wonder if their reply to me got lost in the post???

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who fully understands the importance of a strong, national defence effort)

We will of course be transforming the place very soon and who knows, in a year or two we may even have installed a real, fluffed up, derelict tank! Try to image one in pink, with flowers sprouting out all over the place.

Just imagine…

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who may one day tell the story of how she managed to escape the clutches of the Territorial Army…)

The victims are apparently female and (this is my own guess) it seems that BLONDES are those who have the worst time. I repeat: I’m shocked. 

We’ve just had International Women’s Day and we all thought that things were going along famously. How wrong we were! And now this bombshell!

Sweet, cute little Bambi is having a hard time, poor dear, so we have decided to launch a project by the name of “The Doctor Bambi Project”. The aim of the project is to guide Bambie through her course and teach her to tell the men what’s what! 

Our first move will be to import a PINK, glitzy stethoscope from the US. 

Hi there Doctor Bambi – this is going to be fun!

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who loathes ignorant men – and women)

But I am actually feeling annoyed and frustrated just for once. I’ve been trying to get hold of ALL my fluffy colleagues, but not one of them has answered my calls! Cookie did admittedly reply to my email (phew!) but the others seem to have disappeared from the face of the Earth. 

Where are they all? What are they all doing? Why have they left me out? 

Thinking back, NO ONE has answered the phone. Why? Am I the only one left in the whole universe? 

I’ve got lots of stuff to tell you – so call me, Goddammit!

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who may seem a bit demanding at times…)

An old Swedish proverb says that ”What is hidden in snow makes the Spring to grow” and recently this was proved to contain some truth. The other day he came in carrying a red, iron watering can (!) which was completely filled with a huge block of ice. I suppose I must have left it there, full of water, last summer. 

A few minutes later he came in again and said, “Well, my little gardening enthusiast – I’ve just found a couple of flowerpots which are frozen too…”

Well, so what? I’m good at so many other things – why do I have to be good at gardening too? 

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who is quite willing to let others get all the gardening limelight…)

Our P4 radio broadcast today was sillier than ever. Tillberg and I were quite out of control and I was accused of producing the worst weekend-tip of all time. 

Personally I don’t think it was a bad tip at all – on the contrary! My suggestion was that you cycle, walk or drive…until you get lost. My friend and I used to do it as children and it was great fun. The idea was never to turn back until it was too late and you were well and truly lost. Really creative. 

After the broadcast a police spokesman turned up. Not because of what we’d said, but because he was due to take part in the broadcast after ours. When he saw us, cheeks all red and hair all over the place due to the excitement, he laughed and said: “You were a danger to the traffic while you were on the air: I laughed so much on my way here that I almost ran my car off the road!”

Not that I’d want that to happen – but can you imagine the newspaper headline if he had to explain how the accident had happened…?

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who must learn to think twice before being funny next time…)

You all now by now that technical apparatus is not what I’m best at. Having a girlfriend who lives in San Francisco, I’ve been trying for the last five years (!) to find out how Skype works. And yesterday I succeeded! 

And as I was using my new, white, splendid MacBook, my friend could even see me on the screen! What a joy. ”Honey, at the moment all I can see is the ceiling,” she said gently, “Could you move it a bit so I can see more of you?” She knows how hopeless I am at technical stuff and I think she was beginning to realise that this was not going to be easy. 

I moved the computer closer to me. “Closer still,” said my friend. I did as I was told. ”Can you move it even closer?” she asked. 

By now I’d had enough: “No I can’t – my boobs are in the way!”

Silence. ”Darling – it’s the SCREEN you’re supposed to move towards you – NOT THE COMPUTER!!!”

How was I to know that? Well – how? 

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who’s good at lots of other things…)

In the paper this morning there was an article about a little village outside  Borås in which some unfortunate workmen clearing snow had been attacked by the locals because they were dissatisfied with the standard of their snow-clearing. 

Isn’t that amazing? 

The other day, coming home in my car from a pleasant lunch date with my friend the Hotel Manager, I had a wonderful opportunity to do the exact opposite. Our road was completely blocked by two gigantic lorries and a tractor with a huge shovel on front. The tractor was loading snow onto the lorries. 

I stopped the car, got out, and went over to the driver of one of the lorries and knocked on his side window. ”Darling, what a fantastic job you’re doing!” I shouted to him. ”You’re making the road look so SMART! Thank you so much!”  Obviously, the man was delighted (and has actually promised to sweep the driveway up to our garage…) and I was very pleased with myself. 

So I made somebody happy today = Fluffbabes’ motto. However, I’ve still got to find an animal to save, too. If all else fails I can feed my cat Chilli – and thus save him from starvation. That ought to be good enough…

Hugs and kisses from your very own Fluffbabe Blondie (who claims the right to Save the World!)